Count your blessings...

Although a  firm believer in God and the Law of Karma - there have been innumerable instances where my faith has been challenged, my mind has waivered and hope was lost.

Every time I bounced back - I realised that God closes one door but opens many more doors for you to consider. 

Yet there are times where, none of the doors that have opened opened matter. You turn blind to all of them but the one closed door  was so dear that it is difficult to let go - Such is life and I guess the whole process of bouncing back reaffirms faith, induces positivity and completely heals.

A month back- I was a broken soul.

 I lost my uncle all of a sudden - he was a pillar of support.  An angel in disguise - my amazing genie and a humble soul.

Life seemed unfair. He hadn't hit his fifty fifth birthday and I thought he had a lot left to see in life. and then all of a sudden, it was all over and the world had lost a man with a heart of Gol.d.  

The state of denial prevailed for a while - and sometimes still ceases to depart, followed by a deep sense of betrayal. The mind was filled with anger and sorrow and I questioned the good intentions of the supernatural power. I refused to acknowledge his presence for a couple of days, tried to hate him, ignore him, turn indifferent towards him - only for me to think of him more and even more. At times it is amazing how strong just the mere thoughts can make one feel. 

They say - what ever happens, happens for the best - I am yet to see the better in this instance  - the best being  far fetched. At such times, life feels empty , vacuum - and it is amazing to see how selfish and fickle the mind can be even in such a situation.  I probably am being very selfish for my own sake - it was the  sadness for myself for having lost someone so dear to me prevailing over the fact of what probably was best for him. 

But although I realise it and maybe try and convince myself that it was for the best - these situations stand the test of time, only to reaffirm that we mortals have our limitations and will always tend to be emotional fools.... The departed soul is probably watching me, and grinning away at my folly.

Realization sets that in that I am probably a blessed person to have had someone so important in my life. The less fortunate wouldn't have even had the chance to feel this way about someone. The message rings in my head loud and clear - COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!!

Memories are all that are left and  I hold on to them tight as ever for that remains mine for now and forever. 

The heart tries to accept it was for the best - but the  mind  stays open- only for the bundle of contradictions to continue to unfold. I stare ahead with earnest hope for all the better things that life has in store!

Gaya