Count your blessings...

Although a  firm believer in God and the Law of Karma - there have been innumerable instances where my faith has been challenged, my mind has waivered and hope was lost.

Every time I bounced back - I realised that God closes one door but opens many more doors for you to consider. 

Yet there are times where, none of the doors that have opened opened matter. You turn blind to all of them but the one closed door  was so dear that it is difficult to let go - Such is life and I guess the whole process of bouncing back reaffirms faith, induces positivity and completely heals.

A month back- I was a broken soul.

 I lost my uncle all of a sudden - he was a pillar of support.  An angel in disguise - my amazing genie and a humble soul.

Life seemed unfair. He hadn't hit his fifty fifth birthday and I thought he had a lot left to see in life. and then all of a sudden, it was all over and the world had lost a man with a heart of Gol.d.  

The state of denial prevailed for a while - and sometimes still ceases to depart, followed by a deep sense of betrayal. The mind was filled with anger and sorrow and I questioned the good intentions of the supernatural power. I refused to acknowledge his presence for a couple of days, tried to hate him, ignore him, turn indifferent towards him - only for me to think of him more and even more. At times it is amazing how strong just the mere thoughts can make one feel. 

They say - what ever happens, happens for the best - I am yet to see the better in this instance  - the best being  far fetched. At such times, life feels empty , vacuum - and it is amazing to see how selfish and fickle the mind can be even in such a situation.  I probably am being very selfish for my own sake - it was the  sadness for myself for having lost someone so dear to me prevailing over the fact of what probably was best for him. 

But although I realise it and maybe try and convince myself that it was for the best - these situations stand the test of time, only to reaffirm that we mortals have our limitations and will always tend to be emotional fools.... The departed soul is probably watching me, and grinning away at my folly.

Realization sets that in that I am probably a blessed person to have had someone so important in my life. The less fortunate wouldn't have even had the chance to feel this way about someone. The message rings in my head loud and clear - COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!!

Memories are all that are left and  I hold on to them tight as ever for that remains mine for now and forever. 

The heart tries to accept it was for the best - but the  mind  stays open- only for the bundle of contradictions to continue to unfold. I stare ahead with earnest hope for all the better things that life has in store!

Gaya

Aj   -  I so want to go on the Jumbo jet!!!! :) :)  the Emirates 747

Me - :S :S Dont be silly, that is a 100 quid more per person!

         Lets fly Air India - good leg space, reasonably priced, super food and decent entertainment.

AJ  - ( at his Cynical Best) No. Doubtful whether AI will ever take off.           

Me - Come on,  It is our National airline, and it is not going to have issues for eternity.I have travelled on it a couple of times and it has been a good experience. You are married, and so flight attendents do not matter anyway.

AJ - No. No ways, lets do Jet. They are awesome and willing to consider upgrades.                                                       

Me - Are you out of your mind. 200 quid/ person extra! :O  ( A different thing that a couple of weeks after we booked our tickets on a different airline, Jet slashed its price by 50%.  Murphy's Law at its best as always! :O  )

AJ - Ok then lets do BA. We will atleast get some miles for our Euro travel

Me - ( trying hard to convince him) BA has had its passengers stranded at the Delhi airport for 4 hours before take off and did not offer any food ( tried the food trump card, hoping it would do the needful). And if we take AI, we get points that could possibly be used on Luftansa, and also good FOOD!      

AJ - That BA incident was a one time issue, and wont happen all the time.  More importantly, we get to fly on a Jumbo jet during our return journey

Me - ( Argh! You and your Jumbo Jet) But AI, works well - it is cost effective, good food , direct flights etc. etc.

AJ - NO Air India. AI this.....AI that........blah blah.......                                                         

                                                

Me - ( This is going no where) Sigh!!  Fine! Then lets do BA.

Outcome -  A Cramped BA flight to Chennai from London - which had light bulbs missing at some seats, the television falling off the seat back, sub standard airconditioning  and flight attendents  - One Indian who messed up Tamil and to an extent his English by trying it to give it a flavour of  his understanding of the  Brit touch, another  old but sweet British guy who looked completely devastated to be on board  - I think he was reprimanded for something and was made be a part of that flight.

Return Journey - The so called BA Jumbo Jet that hubby dearest was dying to travel on -  had just about enough leg space for him, an AWFUL meal served at 5 a.m. ( we boarded the flight at 3 45.) - and did not allow us to check in an extra baggage of 2 Kilos - although we were well within our baggage limits ( 23 Kilos) . Entertainment had three latest Hindi movies - Viz. Kahani, Ferrari ki Sawari and a third movie that I had never heard of.

Lesson learnt - Always listen to your wife! :P Fly Air India! :P

You would have had - good food , Enough leg space, 40 Kilo Checkin baggage Limit, Decent Entertainment, Comfortable flying times and the Indian Experience :) :)

I glared at them fiercely
As they smiled - brightly as ever
Seated comfortable in spacious chairs
Their inviting looks - filling the air

I could almost hear them whisper
Amidst the loud travelling banter
Tempting was how  they started to seem
Their curves as fresh as they could have been

I cursed them and firmly responded -
Do whatever you think it takes..
But you will not get me today!
My mind has travelled far beyond,
And does not intend to return for long!

All they could manage was a chuckle
Watching my feet as they dragged me
My heart desperate to exchange plesantaries
Depriving my mind of its newly defined mantle

Their grin of conviction got on to me,
Only to convince me to give them another chance
I decided to stop by to say a quick hello
As always -  they made me happier than before

                                     

As expected the acquaintance never remained an acquaintance

And reblossomed into a new relationship

With me inviting a dozen of them over                                                                                                           

And obliging to pay for their last journey home

Walking home, I revisited the realization I have often had -

Thorntons could never make you sad

For round is also a shape

And being in shape is anything but bad!

                                                                                Gaya

2 months in the UK - random musings......part I

Almost two months in the United Kingdom, and here I go.....


Scotland - Edinburgh - heavenly....I feel as if I am reliving my Enid Blyton days, each time I visit the place. My respect for Enid Blyton has simply grown and I highly doubt whether any other writer could articulate so beautifully in their writing.


J.K. Rowling proved to be a blessing in disguise to the Elephants cafe.....the cafe today has bagged a spot in all the tourist pamphlets in Edinburgh as the birth place of Harry Potter!,and therefore is making some big money.


The English almost despise the Scottish - they think they are dumb! And the Scottish think the english to be way too snooty. ( sounds like Ind - Pak eh?? )

Whatever be the case, I think the Scottish are friendly - well at least they look it and seem it - (cannot quite say it with any certainity considering I barely understand what they speak )....at times seriously wonder whether my English teachers went wrong!!


Who says there aren't beggars in the UK!! Talk about a well groomed lady sitting beside the cathedral, wrapped in an expensive looking Woollen shawl,hugging a sweet looking pet dog and with tears in her eyes. I was astonished to see the same lady sitting in the same place an hour later, with a latest best selling novel in her hand and a Starbucks/ frasers coffee glass in front of her to collect the coins. How cushy can life get - I enjoy my novel, while people fund me to do so!! But I must give it to those young lads at the station subways, for the wonderful music that they play to earn their bread....some of them show sheer brilliance in their music and they by no means could be categorized as beggars!


I need a place to stay....I go to the rental office, they ask me for my bank account details. I go to the bank to open an account, and they ask me for a UK address proof, my rental lease contract copy or utility bills in my name ....What would poor me who just landed in London a couple of days back do?  I explained to the executive that I am married to so and so person and the contract is in his name, and here is our marriage certificate for verification. The response - but that is in your husbands name, we would require it or utility bills on your name... (me to myself - what a donut!!!.....where in the world would i get those after being here for 2 days!)

Glad that I came prepared, I hand over my passport. The executive then asks me for another proof. I provide her with my driving license, but apparently that isn't accepted. I then provide her with my election I'd card issued in India. But apparently that is not accepted either......Appalled!! And confused!! And felt completely degraded ....I couldn't help but wonder, whether this was all the respect that the card issued by the Government of India had!


London is one place, where banks will hesitate to convert your husbands account into a joint account....you see they are so concerned that the wife will choose to run away with all the hard earned fortune of her husband, when they get divorced. (and we being such dimwits in their eyes, are not aware of the fact that every advance account would imply a service fee of seventeen pounds.)  Believe it or not, it took Hubby dearest and me almost an hour, spread over two weeks to get the customer service executive to convert the account into a joint account......here is the irony - the customer service chic happened to be an Indian who just had just moved into the UK a couple of years before...
Talk about manners, alright - we Asians or Indians relatively lack the finesse and the smooth talking abilities that comes naturally to a majority of the Brits.......but they sure are way better at blowing their nose ( LOUDLY and CONTINOUSLY ) and letting the whole world know how bad a cold they have - oh I stand corrected - 'FLU' it is.......wonder if that is considered gentlemanly or lady like!!


Pink hair,pornographic telephone booths, ladies wearing almost swimsuits on a chilly friday night where the temperature hits 0 degree, a license for television, contracts for everything, safety pins for 2 pounds :O ( in India it is Rs. 2), dirty roads here and there ( sadly some of the dirtiest areas happen to be inhabited by Asians- Indians and Lankans), same fares to commute by rail or air....Welcome to London :P

I guess,this post turned out to be a little too cynical, but I must admit that London is beautiful the way it is.....the weather, the greenery,  the Victorian architecture, the typical Brit breakfast, the interiors and the food at the pubs ( minus the alcohol ofcoAurse),the roadside coffee shops, the lovely breeze, a pleasant Sunday morning, the amazing variety of boots that you find here would bring a smile on anyone's face.......but all said and done India is better in so many ways...you sure do realize the value of home when you are away from it.......keep watching this space for part two and the sequels that would follow (hopeful that the inspiration to update my blog strikes more frequently) ....I will try and be a little more nice to the Brits there.......for now, I sign off the Brit way.....cheers folks!!.....bye now ( in the singy songy tone) :P

                                                                                   

Gaya

A vague thought- farfetched and beyond possibility

Smiles, a sense of relief….things seem light.

I reckon it is the power of faith

That instantly makes one’s life bright.

God sure does have his strange ways!

To teach and take you to bay

To show you – life is all shades of grey

Not black and white as you wish and pray.

You try to forget, you try to forgive,

Nothing really seems to happen

When you do it for your sake, for

Somewhere along, it invariably would be fake

The day you forgive for God’s sake,

And surrender with all you can give,

Hoping things in life get even.

Things suddenly seem to brighten.

The strange air you that you then feel,

Is something no one can steal!

He sure does make time heal

With love, learning and the best deal!

When you look behind,

All you can manage is a subtle smile :) ,

Try and control your wandering mind

And leap towards the next mile!

Gaya

Adios 2010!!

2010 has been a tough teacher! :) Nevertheless, I am grateful to all the reinforcement, affirmation and reiteration that it had to offer. It certainly has contributed to my growth as an individual. Definitely not my best year but I am sure I have been luckier than many others!!

The biggest learnings, that I could pen down, even in the state of sleep deprivation would be :

We are never alone. God is always walking besides us. Give him a chance to speak, and be his audience. You will get your answers.

Friendship is one of the world's most beautiful relationship. Cherish it.

True friends are those who stand by you at all times, pull you up when you are astray from the right path, empathize when they cannot do much, but help you wade your way without getting judgemental about you or any one else.
Treasure them!

Sometimes the best way to be happy in life is to let go.

Treasure those people to whom you really matter; not for their selfish reasons but out of good will for you.

Emotions are like glass. Very brittle. Handle with care.

Faith, Prayer and hope are the three pillars on which life revolves.

Life is not about yourself and your happiness. Make an attempt to make a difference to people who need you. Life would be worth living.

It is always better to go somewhere where you are wanted rather than go somewhere where you want to.

Always remember - Life may have been slightly unfair to you. But you have always been more fortunate than a lot many.

Health is the biggest wealth. Not many are blessed with it. Learn to appreciate it.

After life, a good family is the biggest blessing that you could be born with. Never let go of them.

Respect others for their decisions/opinions, though they may not be right or in line with your expectation.

If you judge yourself by your intentions, do the same with others. Do not judge them on their actions.

Will end with my first learning - We are never alone. God is always walking besides us. Give him a chance to speak, and be his audience. Have faith in him. The Holy Spirit would always be a guiding force. God will take care!

A huge list, if due consideration is given to the fact that I have been sleep deprived. Nevertheless, do add to the list, if you have any interesting learnings to share.


Gaya

In anticipation.......

A rainy evening here again...
The clouds draping the sky
Beautiful yet filled with gloom
Life awaiting its bloom

There always is beauty in joy...
Something that sets the heart cry
Whoever thought of beauty in pain
To be quiet, simple and plain

Your mind feels fragile
Everything seems futile
They say…...
Embrace life with a smile
Things will pass by in a while
Slowly you will realize
Life does not generalize
That time certainly does heal
And ensures you get the best deal


Simply hang on in grace
With a smile on your face…..